When it comes to providing family care, past and present dynamics can play a big part in the caregiver’s outlook. For people who have been nurtured by caring parents who provided for all their needs, providing the same amount of care may just be second nature. But what if you’ve been negatively affected by childhood experiences, determined to keep your distance from problematic family members later in life, simply to find yourself returning to provide for them in a period of need?
AARP offers some helpful suggestions for those providing family care who want to make a plan to overcome old wounds:
- Establish emotional boundaries. It is feasible to deliver compassionate caregiving while staying emotionally detached. Envision taking care of the needs of someone you’d never met, and strive to hold that mindset with a difficult family member, striving to keep personal feelings and hurts out of the picture while meeting his / her care needs with compassion.
- Separate the past from today. While your family member may have demonstrated a pattern of causing you anguish in the past, perhaps with indignant outbursts or deprecating comments, it’s essential to differentiate that pain from current struggles. For instance, someone with Alzheimer’s might go through a stage of aggressive behavior that is a hallmark struggle associated with the disease, instead of a continuation of parenting mistakes.
- Try changing your expectations. Some family members step into a caregiving role with the goal of changing the course of a relationship, believing that if perhaps they forget about past hurts and give the very best possible care, the individual will likely be transformed into someone caring, kind and respectful after a lifetime of difficulties. The stark reality is, fairy tale endings are quite few. Keeping expected results realistic can help reduce possible future disappointments.
Most of all, recognize that no one needs to feel “stuck” in taking care of a difficult member of the family. The professional Hinsdale in home care team at Independence-4-Seniors Home Care is fully trained, experienced, and equipped to offer the very skilled and compassionate home care services that allow family peace of mind. A few of the various ways we can help include:
- Personal care assistance, such as with bathing, getting dressed, and using the bathroom
- Preparing meals
- Keeping the home environment clean and organized
- Running errands
- Providing transportation to medical appointments along with other outings
- Companionship
- And more
Call us at (630) 323-4665 for a free in-home assessment and also to discover a senior care solution that can work for your family.