If you are in a successful, long-term relationship, you realize that it requires compromise, commitment, and sacrifice. The happiest relationships are those where both parties selflessly care for one another. This balance shifts, however, if the person you love experiences a serious health concern. And this shift can have an adverse effect on the dynamics of your relationship, if you’re not careful, as you find yourself in the role of caregiver for a spouse.
Obviously, you want to do anything you can for your spouse. However, it’s crucial that you ensure you’re not sacrificing your romantic connection along the way. Attempting to parent your companion may cause resentment – for the two of you. To keep up healthy boundaries, Independence-4-Seniors Home Care, provider of senior care in Darien and nearby areas, encourages you to keep the following at heart:
- Show your love for your partner in ways that have nothing to do with the care you’re providing. Write love letters, provide simple, thoughtful gifts, and tell the person how much you appreciate specific traits you observe in them.
- Encourage your spouse to stay as independent as possible. Although you undoubtedly have the best of intentions in trying to help, it is very easy to cross the line into causing harm to the person’s self-esteem. Plan on taking more time than usual for some tasks, incorporate adaptive tools, and step back when you can to allow the person to do whatever they’re able to on their own.
- Have an open, honest discussion about how the health changes are affecting you. Brainstorm approaches to find a new normal which will be fulfilling for both of you, setting new, attainable dreams and goals together.
- Be deliberate in creating opportunities to prioritize your relationship independent of the illness or injury. Continue to participate in the activities and conversations you enjoyed together before the health issue arose, altering as required.
If all this seems easier in theory, there are some specific things you can do to make sure you’re keeping appropriate boundaries in your role as caregiver for a spouse:
- Place some favorite photos or memorabilia from past vacations you’ve taken together in places where you’ll see them often to remind yourself of the happy times you’ve shared together.
- Hold hands, offer spontaneous hugs, give a back rub or shoulder massage, etc. to stay in close physical contact outside of touch that is a required component of care.
- Keep an active social network, both as a couple and individually. The activities you participate in with family and friends might need to be modified but should not be eliminated altogether.
- Focus on resolving any conflicts in a healthier way, bringing in a professional counselor for help if required.
An at-home caregiver is a great way to ensure your partner has all of the assistance needed, allowing you to concentrate on spending quality time together as a couple. Contact us at (630) 323-4665 for additional details on how we can help with professional senior care in Darien and the surrounding areas.