Perhaps your family rivals those on Walton’s Mountain in its unconditional love, unwavering patience with one another, and determination to stick together through thick and thin. But if your family members are like most, there’s at least some degree of dysfunction, some lingering stubborn sibling rivalry, as well as some lingering competitiveness to be Mom’s and Dad’s favorite. Dynamics such as these can be exacerbated as parents age, family caregiving needs increase, and the need to work together as a cohesive family unit brings those old childhood hurts to the surface.
Clinical psychologist Craig Grether shares, “When there is a family crisis with a parent, the adult children, no matter how educated they are, no matter how successful, with a variety of life experiences, they regress to the same dynamic of whatever was going on when they were 7, 8, 10, 12 years old.”
The fact is, as many as 40% of family caregivers are experiencing serious family disputes, and 65% believe health care needs are usually unequally shared between siblings. Disagreement generally arises when there’s a notion that one family member isn’t pulling his or her weight when it comes to meeting the caregiving requirements of an older loved one – reigniting any past family dynamic concerns that until this time may seem to have been buried. Those providing care for family find themselves in danger of such challenges as depression, alcohol or other substance abuse, sleep loss, and career challenges, it’s easy to understand how rapidly tempers can flare between family members.
So, just how can members of the family come together and create a plan of care that’s fair to all? The bottom line: there are times when it’s simply not possible, and it’s necessary to come to a place of acceptance that your younger sister might not be able, for whatever reason, to handle attending to Mom at the level you’d like. Letting go of preconceived expectations and any feelings of resentment is vital to gaining peace for yourself and to be able to focus on giving the absolute best care for your older family member.
No matter what your family’s dynamics, Independence-4-Seniors Home Care of La Grange can be there to provide a steady, reliable resource to ensure that all care needs are completely met at all times. We work with families to fill in the gaps in caregiving, enabling them to concentrate on spending quality time together and relieving the anxiety often related to meeting a senior loved one’s daily needs. Contact us at (630) 323-4665 to learn more.